at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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