and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Welp...herpes.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
