Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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