don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
