There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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