Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
