So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
