It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
