If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize