he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
