Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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