she kept yelling 'call me bella'
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
