And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about my life...
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
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