5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
