she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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