The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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