Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
