Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
