is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
