can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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