i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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