HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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