What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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