I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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