Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
