Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
