you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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