if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Randomize
