i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
