when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
