I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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