Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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