I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
