dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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