Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Randomize
