If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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