I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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