I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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