sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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