that's an acceptable place to lick
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
