You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
