He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
