I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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