I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
