i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
