Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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