I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
