toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
the day after is always just damage control
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
