you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
