I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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