his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I believe in your delicious
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize