My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
