I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
