3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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