Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
