you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
