I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
