please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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