When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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