found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today