Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
