if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
