So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
