so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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