Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
