"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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