we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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